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A Special Note to Husbands
About First Tuesday
I know how many husbands react when their wives suggest
attending a marriage enrichment program like First Tuesday. Our
first thought is: Why? What’s wrong
with our marriage?
Men assume that if people (we mean mostly, men) need to talk
about things, there must be a problem. But for women,
there’s a problem if we can’t talk
about
things--especially important things, like our
marriage.
In fact, the evidence is pretty clear that marriages fail
when couples stop talking. One of the biggest reasons women
have affairs is that they are lonely. It’s a leading cause for
divorce, too. Women get tired of "being married to a stranger."
Talking with our wives -- I mean, really
talking about important things, like our marriage -- may be the
single most important thing we husbands can do to strengthen a
good marriage or rescue a poor one. It’s up to us.
For Mary and me, First Tuesday has been a regular
opportunity to talk with each other about our marriage for the
past fifteen years. Many times, the most important
conversations we have don’t even happen when we are in the
group. They happen before, when we are having supper, or afterward, on the way home
-- or sometimes even a few
days later. But they
happen, and First Tuesday is the catalyst.
We still don’t have a perfect marriage, but I’m not sure we
would have made it this far if it hadn’t been for the commitment
we made to talk regularly with each other about the most
important thing in our lives -- our
marriage.
If you’re a little hesitant about
participating in First Tuesday (or if you’re outright hostile to the idea), I
encourage you to muster up your manly courage and try it for a
couple of months. I think you’ll discover that it’s a pretty
good way to start -- and keep -- talking about your marriage.
--Dave Cushing
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Posted
08.28.10
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Last Update
08.28.10
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