|
QUIK-PICK GUIDE TO THIS PAGE
Introduction
Guidelines for Formation
in Human Sexuality
Early Childhood (Ages Birth to 6)
Childhood (Ages 7 to 11)
Early Adolescence (Ages 12 to 15)
Adolescence (Ages 15 to 20)
Adulthood (Ages 20 and Older)
Resources
For Parents and
Adults
For Children or Young Adults
Catholic Parents’
Guide to
Formation in Human Sexuality
Over and over again, the Church has emphasized the parent’s role as the “first herald” of faith for children. This responsibility as
your child’s “first teacher” is
especially important in the area of
human sexuality.
Your child’s spiritual growth and formation in
faith is closely connected to his or her general development as
a human person. As Your child grows, it is important to provide
not only adequate information about religious and moral
teachings, but also the information they need to develop
physically, socially,
psychologically and emotionally.
This guide is designed to help you provide the
necessary information your child needs in order to develop as a
healthy,
mature, and morally responsible sexual person.
This guide outlines the
general characteristics of sexual development at various ages
from birth to adulthood, and provides guidelines for what
children need to know about sexuality at various age levels.
The developmental descriptions and guidelines are adapted from Human Sexuality--A Catholic Perspective for Education and
Lifelong Learning, an official document prepared by the United
States Catholic Conference of Catholic Bishops’ Committee on
Education and approved by the Catholic bishops of the United
States. (© 1991, United States Catholic Conference of
Bishops.)
• • •
Characteristics and Guidelines
for Formation in Human Sexuality
Early Childhood
(Birth to Age 6)
In the beginning years of life, children grow
rapidly in many ways. There are physical, cognitive, affective,
social and spiritual developments. Infants and toddlers show
certain characteristics which are then further developed in the
later years of childhood and which contribute to their
understanding of human sexuality.
Characteristics of Early Childhood
Infants and toddlers discover the body through
looking and touching, and through growing in their ability to
control bodily functions. They learn to express themselves
through word and gesture, music, dance and role playing; their
natural curiosity and imagination motivate their cognitive
learning as well as their spiritual development.
As they progress through the later stage of
early childhood, children achieve more independence in caring
for their bodies. As they begin to accept themselves as unique
persons, children also come to a clearer understanding of their
identity as boys or girls. Their ability to ask questions, make
choices, know right from wrong, and accept responsibility for
their actions is evident in their behavior. Spiritually,
children begin to pray formally and spontaneously, trusting in
God who loves and cares for them.
In the early childhood stage, it is important
for children to have around them significant adults for purposes
of bonding, nurturing, and guiding. Parents and guardians
provide a sense of security for children; they help children
accept themselves without guilt or shame.
Socially, young children begin to move from
total self-centeredness to a limited sense of others. They
begin the process of socialization through interaction with
siblings, friends, and significant adults. Children’s ability
to share and also to experience and express forgiveness is
learned best from adults and from relationships with their
peers.
Guidelines for Formation in Human
Sexuality during Early Childhood
1.
Each child has the right to life, bodily integrity, and the
means for proper development. Parents and guardians need to
understand the physical, cognitive, afffective, social and
spiritual development of young children.
At this stage in a
child’s development, it is important to:
• provide a wholesome and safe environment.
• demonstrate to children that they are loved,
valued, cherished and
prized.
• provide the first experiences of God’s love,
communicated through the
love of family
members for one another and for the child.
• help children develop a personal relationship
with God, especially
through prayer.
2.
The body is a sacred gift. Parents and guardians should help
children be comfortable with their bodies.
At this stage in a
child’s development, it is important to:
• teach children proper names for body parts.
• instruct children to respect and care for
their own bodies, including
proper hygiene, good
eating habits, exercise and sleep.
• teach children to respect other people’s
bodies.
• explain the difference between appropriate and
inappropriate touch.
3.
At this age children are naturally curious about their bodies
and the bodies of others. Parents and guardians need to affirm
the goodness of their children’s bodies.
At this stage in a
child’s development, it is important to:
• understand the naturalness of children’s
actions, especially their
curiosity about body functions
and sexual parts.
• accept children’s actions that are natural,
while assisting them to know
what is appropriate and
inappropriate behavior.
4.
Younger children are highly impressionable. Parents and
guardians need to create a wholesome environment that will
foster the child’s growth and development in human sexuality.
At this stage in a child’s development, it is important to:
• moderate and supervise children’s access to
television, video and print
media.
• be alert to nonverbal communication as well as
direct questions.
• be discreet regarding your own sexual
behavior.
• be selective in choosing care-givers for
children.
5.
Building a child’s self-esteem begins at birth and is a
foundation for all levels of development. At this stage of
development, parents and guardians need to recognize and
respect the uniqueness of each child.
At this stage in a
child’s development, it is important to:
• enable children to accept themselves as total
persons, created by God,
with both strengths and
limitations.
• help children distinguish between persons who
by nature are good and
their behavior, which
may be undesirable.
• respect the dignity of children verbally,
physically and emotionally.
6.
At this stage children develop trust by relating with
significant adults. Parents and guardians need to be open,
honest, available and caring.
At this stage in a child’s
development, it is important to:
• answer questions honestly, correctly and with
language children can
understand.
• give parental warmth and affection, especially
through the sense of
touch.
• spend significant time with each child.
• provide opportunities for children to interact
with adults outside the
home.
7.
Young children learn through observation and experience.
Parents and guardians need to be good role models.
At this
stage in a child’s development, it is important to:
• provide opportunities for children to witness
loving relationships.
• help children experience single persons and
celibate persons as living
beings.
8.
Making choices is the basis for moral decision-making and the
formation of conscience. Parents and guardians should provide
children with situations that help them practice making
choices.
At this stage in a child’s development, it is
important to:
• allow children to make simple choices that
will develop a pattern of
making free choices.
• give gentle, ongoing guidance on what is
morally good.
• help children learn the consequences of
actions and choices.
• provide a healthy balance between structured
and free play.
• help children distinguish between safe and
dangerous situations.
9.
In early childhood children are curious about the differences
between
boys (men) and girls (women). Parents and guardians need to
affirm the equality of men and women in word, attitude and
action.
At this stage in a child’s development, it is important
to:
• create an atmosphere that includes loving
modeling by adults or both
genders.
• foster appropriate use of inclusive language.
• appreciate the equality and mutuality of men
and women.
• explore gender roles regarding work and family
life.
• provide a variety of role models.
• allow children to discover various ways to
play and interact.
• accept children without stereotyped role and
gender expectations.
• • •
Childhood
(Ages 7 to 11)
This developmental stage builds on early
childhood. Some of the characteristics will overlap, as will
some of the guidelines. Children in this stage of development
will possess varying degrees of maturity and readiness for
education in human sexuality. Parents and guardians need to
make adaptations accordingly.
Characteristics of Childhood
Middle Childhood. In the middle stage of
childhood (approximately ages six to eight), children have vivid
imaginations and are usually curious and eager to learn. As
they grow physically, children develop a heightened sense of
sexual differentiation and they need to be reassured of their specialness and goodness in being a boy or a girl.
Peer relationships become increasingly
important, while family maintains its significance. Through
these relationships, children develop appropriate social skills
as well as the qualities required in being a friend to others.
While children in this stage have a tendency to
be self-centered, they are able to cooperate and assume
responsibility. Rules and guidelines begin to influence their
behavior. Spiritually, children are attracted to image of
Jesus, stories from Scripture, and
opportunities for prayer and ritual celebration.
Later Childhood. In the later stage of
childhood (usually ages nine to eleven), children are in a
period of relative physical stability. They are either growing
at a steady rate or in small spurts. (Some children will
experience the onset of puberty earlier than others. In that
case, there will be evidence of a growing self-consciousness
about the body, preoccupation with secondary sexual
characteristics, and a heightened sense of competition related
to physical growth and appearance.)
In later childhood, peer group relationships and
values become more important as does the need for acceptance.
Socially, there is a tendency toward seeking friends of the same
sex, while some boys and girls will begin to develop
relationships with the opposite sex.
At this time in their lives, children develop
cognitive abilities and begin to process abstract ideas and
values. they are able to discuss
issues, analyse situations, and draw conclusions. Children in
later childhood possess an increased capacity to appreciate the
need for rules so as to ensure an orderliness in their lives and
relationships. They are developing a greater awareness of what
is morally right and of their own strengths and limitations;
they are learning to make reasonable choices and are growing in
their awareness and concern for other persons.
Spiritually, children in later childhood are
growing in their knowledge and understanding of God, Church,
sacraments, Scripture, Christian living, and of themselves as
unique persons created by God. Prayer and celebration continue
to be a major focus of their religious expression.
Guidelines for Formation in Human
Sexuality during Childhood
1.
At this age children can experience the life-enriching qualities
of belonging to a loving Christian community of family and
church. Parents and guardians need to support and create
environments in which children can grow.
At this stage in a
child’s development, it is important to:
• provide opportunities for families to learn,
pray and socialize.
• help children recognize how love creates life
and helps it grow.
• affirm human relationships that are faithful
and trusting, especially those
of parents and family members.
• invite adults who are good role models to
share their time and gifts with
children.
2.
Because children at this age are still greatly influenced by
their parents and families, parents and guardians need to
understand and accept their responsibility as primary educators
of their children.
At this stage in a child’s development, it
is important to:
• be involved in planning and evaluating
programs in human sexuality.
• learn how to communicate effectively with
their children, especially
about issues involving human sexuality.
• take advantage of opportunities for
intergenerational experience and
learning.
3.
At this age children are trying to understand their own growth
in sexuality. Parents and guardians need to provide
opportunities for children to learn about and respond to this
growth.
At this stage in a
child’s development, it is important to:
• teach children about their developing bodies
and help them understand
basic physiological and biological
processes.
• help children develop habits of caring for the
body.
• help children understand the importance of
modesty, self-discipline, and
the need for
privacy.
4.
Children are conscious of growing friendships in their lives at
this age. Parents and guardians need to affirm children as they
experience new feelings and encourage them to appreciate and
deal with these feelings.
At this stage in a child’s
development, it is important to:
• help children relaste to persons of the same
and opposite sex.
• teach skills of honest communication,
listening, sharing, forgiving and
trusting.
• affirm the equality of men and women in word,
attitude, and action.
• help children become more conscious of
barriers in relationships, such
as cultural
stereotyping.
5.
Children at this age have an increasing understanding of what is
right and wrong. Parents and guardians need to help children
recognize that some behavior is harmful and unacceptable to
growth in relationships, and to realize their own goodness as
God intends them to be.
At this stage in a child’s development,
it is important to:
• assist children to recognize that they are
loved and are able to love
others.
• enable children to reflect on their
experiences of being loved by family
and friends.
• help children identify genuine and appropriate
expressions of love.
• instruct children on how to express love for
others in a genuine and
appropriate way.
• teach children how to accept and love others
who are different from
themselves.
• enable children to celebrate forgiveness in
the sacrament of
Reconciliation and in everyday
life.
6.
At this age children have a growing sense of God and Church.
Parents and guardians need to help children integrate their
beliefs and values into their ongoing education in human
sexuality.
At this stage in a child’s development, it is
important to:
• connect family faith life with more formal
instruction in faith.
• teach children to pray based on their life
experience.
• help children understand their growing
relationship with God.
• prepare children for the sacraments of
Eucharist and Reconciliation.
• familiarize children with Scripture and how it
applies to their lives.
7.
Children are influenced by television, videos and other media.
Parents and guardians must learn how to talk with their children
about the values and attitudes that the media portrays.
At this
stage in a child’s development, it is important to address such
issues as:
• sexist attitudes.
• portrayal of sex as a commodity.
• sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
• sexual abuse of children and adults.
• sexual orientation.
• sexual role models.
• family role models
• experiences of brokenness, separation, death
and loss.
• • •
Early Adolescence
(Ages 12 to 15)
This developmental stage builds on childhood.
Some of the characteristics will overlap, as will some of the
guidelines. Youth in this stage of development will possess
varying degrees of maturity and of readiness for education in
human sexuality. Parents and guardians need to make adaptations
accordingly.
Characteristics of Early Adolescence
The early adolescent development stage usually
occurs during or just before the earliest teenage years.
Physical and emotional changes and growth are accelerated.
Usually, young adolescents experience the
initiation of rapid physical growth while their psychological
and emotional growth is well on the way. During this period of
physical growth, it is likely that early adolescents feel
awkward, confused, and uneasy about their bodies.
At this time in their lives, early adolescents
become intensely concerned about their self-identity and are
interested in learning more about themselves, which leads them
through a period of self-consciousness.
Early adolescents tend to initiate their move
toward independence. They seek out others like themselves and
move beyond the family circle. Concern for self and peer
relationships are both quite important at this stage, so they
find themselves most comfortable with others of their own age
and sex, but gain more confidence and comfort in mixed groups.
Thoughts and feelings about their own human
sexuality become prominent in the life of early adolescents.
This heightened awareness of their sexual attributes normally
causes increased anxiety, confusion, and fear about these
personal developments.
In the area of decision making, early
adolescents often may question traditional rules and struggle to
make personal decisions, even though they lack the experiences
that would help them anticipate the possible consequences of
their decisions.
At this stage of their spiritual development,
early adolescents seek a more personal relationship with God.
This relationship is often nourished by the faith of the family
and the sacraments of the Church. Involvement of young
adolescents in the life or formal
religious activities of the Church depends to a large measure on
parental encouragement and support, as well as peer
participation. Early adolescents tend to become active
participants in church life and ministry if their parents are
involved and if encouraged by personal or peer group invitation.
Guidelines for Formation in Human
Sexuality During
Early Adolescence
1.
Because early adolescents at this stage may differ in their
maturity level in many areas, it is important for parents and
guardians to be sensitive to the need to adapt instructional
material, methods and consideration of times when same sex or
individual instruction is more appropriate.
At this stage in a
child’s development it is important to:
• teach early adolescents respect for their
bodies.
• explain to early adolescents the nature of
personal maturation.
• help early adolescents deal with their own
growth, maturation, and the
consequent psychological
effects
• reaffirm for early adolescents the value of
personal modesty.
2.
Because early adolescence presents youth with many new
experiences, both physical and emotional (e.g., menstruation and
nocturnal emissions), parents and guardians need to assist them
in making sense of these new experiences in ways that respect
the early adolescence experience and honor the dignity of
sexuality from a Catholic perspective.
At this stage in a
child’s development it is important to:
• reassure early adolescents that sexual
attraction is natural and normal.
• instruct early adolescents on proper hygiene
and health care for their
bodies.
• assist early adolescents to develop good
nutritional habits and regular
exercise routines.
• inform early adolescents of the health hazard
that smoking presents.
• educate early adolescents about the harmful
effects of alcohol and drug
abuse on physical and
mental health.
3.
Because physical growth is such a dominant concern at this
stage, it is especially important for parents and guardians to
teach the purpose, respect and care of the body.
At this stage
in a child’s development it is important to:
• provide early adolescents with an
understanding of the biological
processes of the
body, appropriate to their stage of development.
• teach early adolescents the basic facts of
human fertility and
reproduction in the context of
Christian marriage.
• extoll the virtue of chastity and the right of
early adolescents to bodily
integrity, include
respect for and from others.
4.
Because early adolescents are becoming more aware of the power
of their own sexuality, parents and guardians need to help them
understand that the human person is called to experience and
express love by means of the body in appropriate and respectful
ways.
At this stage in a child’s development it is important
to:
• reassure early adolescents that they have the
capacity both to love and
to be loved.
• assist early adolescents to recognize the role
and model of parents and
family regarding
love and relationships.
• instruct early adolescents in the appropriate
ways of expressing love
physically and emotionally.
• teach early adolescents that Christian
marriage is the context in which
love is expressed fully by
means of the body.
5.
Because early adolescents look for guides and adult models, it
is necessary for parents and guardians to tell the story of
Jesus and other holy people who show us how to appreciate, make
decisions about, and live out the gift of human sexuality.
At
this stage in a child’s development it is important to:
• encourage early adolescents to become familiar
with the life and story of
Jesus as the model for
personal maturity, friendships, and relational
skills.
• make available to early adolescents the lives
of the saints for inspiration
and as models for
imitation.
• identify and foster adult role models and
mentors in the family, school,
church and local
community.
6.
Because the gifts of sexuality and sex can be abused, it is
timely for parents and guardians to reaffirm that some touches
are inappropriate and may constitute sexual abuse, and to give
guidance on how to resist the temptations of immoral, aberrant,
and inappropriate sexual behavior.
At this stage in a child’s
development it is important to:
• teach early adolescents how to deal morally
with pornographic literature,
abusive language,
and the exploitation of sex and sexuality in movies,
television,
music, videos and other forms of entertainment.
• inform early adolescents about the Church’s teaching and pastoral
approach to the issue of masturbation.
• instruct early adolescents on the Church’s
tradition regarding genital sex
outside of marriage.
• inform early adolescents of the nature and
effects of sexually
transmitted diseases.
• provide a simple explanation of church
teaching regarding
heterosexuality and homosexuality.
7.
Because early adolescents may begin to explore, experiment, and
experience their sexuality in new ways, parents and guardians
need to explain Catholic moral principles and teach them the
moral decision-making process.
At this stage in a child’s
development it is important to:
• teach early adolescents the art of moral
decision-making, moving from
values to general
norms to application in specific moral situations.
• provide early adolescents with the necessary
resources for the
formation of a good conscience
(e.g., Scripture, church teachings,
prudent counsel).
• assist early adolescents in developing a sense
of personal and social
responsibility concerning
the consequences of their choices and
actions.
• prepare early adolescents for the reception of
the sacraments.
• encourage early adolescents to receive the
sacraments of
Reconciliation and Eucharist
regularly.
• • •
Adolescence (Ages 15 to 20)
This developmental stage builds on early
adolescence. Some of the characteristics will overlap, as
will some of the guidelines. Since young adults in this
stage of development will express many levels of maturity,
parents and guardians need to make adaptations accordingly.
Characteristics of Adolescence
Adolescence is a time of intense physical,
emotional, intellectual, social and spiritual growth. The rapid
physical changes include growth in height, weight, muscle, and
sexual characteristics. These changes have a profound effect on
the emotional, psychological and relational development of
adolescents. During this stage, young adults discover
themselves primarily through their interpersonal relationships.
What was once a self-centeredness in childhood begins to give
way to concern for others.
Issues such as the quality of male and female
relationships, the peer and adult models that impress
adolescents, and the variety of human experience that surrounds
adolescents take on new significance. This step in growth is
fluid, and, therefore, the adolescent experience is not always a
step-by-step movement. Personal choice becomes even more of a
reality due to increased independence, expanding personal
freedom, and a desire for autonomy. New experiences and
concerns related to dating, infatuation, physical affection,
sexual orientation, parental limits, and church guidelines all
challenge adolescents to find answers for new questions. The
adolescent experience is a growing awareness that important
choices are being made daily.
Adolescents, too, are becoming more capable of
abstract thought, challenging argumentation, and private
spirituality. Searching for an authentic spirituality,
adolescents are increasingly aware of their inner life and are
becoming aware of universal moral principles. In short,
adolescents are building the necessary components of their
future adult life. As such, their thinking, choices and actions
about sex and sexuality become a more complex process. Added to
this is their increased awareness of fairness, justice and
equality. They are awakening to the transcendent.
Guidelines for Formation in Human
Sexuality During Adolescence
1.
Because this may be the last opportunity for adolescents to
receive formal education in sexuality, parents and educators
need to provide positive instruction about the wonder of the
human body, sexual functioning, fertility, and reproduction, and
how to appreciate and care for their bodies in life-giving ways.
At this stage in the young adult child’s development it is
important to:
• provide the adolescent with the biological
facts about human sexuality
and reproductive
processes of the body.
• instruct adolescents in the unitive and
procreative purposes of marriage
and sexual activity in
• teach adolescents respect for their own bodies
and those of others.
• encourage adolescents to develop positive
hygienic practices.
• assist adolescents in developing good
nutritional habits and regular
exercise routines.
• inform adolescents of the harmful effects of
smoking, alcohol, and other
chemical substances on
the body.
2.
Because love and sex are often equated, parents and guardians
need to explain the full meaning of love in the context of the
gospels.
At this stage in the young adult child’s development
it is important to:
• provide adolescents with a thorough
explanation of the nature of love.
• distinguish for adolescents the meaning of
sexuality and sex from the
Catholic perspective.
3.
Because Jesus showed everyone how to be fully human and how to
develop friendships, parents and guardians need to proclaim the
story of Jesus.
At this stage in the young adult child’s
development it is important to:
• encourage adolescents to adopt Jesus as the
model for personal
maturity and committed
friendships.
• recommend that adolescents find models and
mentors -- mature and
prudent persons in whom they
can confide.
• provide adolescents with skills to establish
and maintain healthy
friendships.
• instruct adolescents on the mutual
responsibilities of friendship.
4.
Because human beings sin they are in need of forgiveness and
reconciliation. Therefore parents and guardians need to
proclaim and model God's readiness to forgive, and encourage
adolescents to
reconciliation.
At this stage in the young adult child’s
development it is important to:
• instruct adolescents on the nature and effects
of sin, including those
related to sexuality.
• teach adolescents about God's forgiveness as
expressed by Jesus in
his life and ministry.
• encourage adolescents to celebrate the
sacraments of Eucharist and
Reconciliation regularly.
5.
Because normal impulses and feelings of adolescents lead them
toward sexual experimentation and expressions, parents and
guardians need to explain the Church's position on sexual
intimacy; they need to reaffirm the value of personal modesty,
the avoidance of sexually suggestive situations and
entertainment, and to lend their support to adolescents making
healthy and moral choices.
At this stage in the young adult
child’s development it is important to:
• promote the values of modesty and chastity
among adolescents.
• instruct adolescents on what expressions of
love are appropriate for
his/her state of life.
• teach adolescents that genital sexual intimacy
finds its proper place only
in the context of
marriage.
• help adolescents to develop as a healthy and
mature sexual persons
who are capable of
responsible relationships and can avoid occasions of
sexual immorality.
• instruct adolescents on a moral
decision-making process rooted in
gospel values and church
teaching.
6.
Because adolescents are approaching an age when they may take on
the permanent commitment of marriage, parents and guardians need
to provide information and instruction on marriage from the
Catholic perspective.
At this stage in the young adult child’s
development it is important to:
• teach and model for adolescents wholesome
personal relationships with
persons of
the same and opposite sex.
• provide a course of instruction for
adolescents on engagement,
marriage, and parenting from a
Catholic perspective.
• inform adolescents of the Catholic Church's
teaching and pastoral
approaches regarding
divorce, annulment and remarriage.
7.
Because the Church provides guidance to adolescents about
objective right and wrong and is an integral resource in their
conscience formation, parents and guardians need to inform
adolescents about the Church's teachings in contemporary moral
issues.
At this stage in the young adult child’s development it
is
important to:
• instruct adolescents on the Church's teaching
concerning masturbation,
non-marital sex,
and contraception.
• teach adolescents how to deal morally with
pornography and the
exploitation of sex and
sexuality in entertainment.
• provide adolescents with a simple explanation
of the Church's teachings
regarding reproductive
technology and sterilization.
• teach adolescents about heterosexuality and
homosexuality from
a Catholic perspective.
• inform adolescents of their right to bodily
integrity and the need for that to
be respected by
oneself and others;
• instruct adolescents on the source, nature and
effects of sexually
transmitted diseases.
• • •
Adulthood
(Ages 20 and Older)
This developmental stage builds on adolescence.
Unlike other phases, there are several stages in adulthood, not
solely dependent on chronological age. These developmental
stages, which are quite varied throughout the adult life-span,
can be grouped basically into young, middle and older
adulthood. Maturity levels will vary within age groupings,
backgrounds, and life experience.
Characteristics of Adulthood
Young Adulthood. Young adulthood is a life
passage filled with many changes and transitions. Career
changes, emotional changes, physical changes and psychological
changes make up the life of the young adult. This time of
passage from adolescence to middle adulthood is a time in the
life of a person when choices are verified and experimentation
is often a part of coming to full maturation.
Many young adults are in the “searching faith”
stage of development. They are seeking a faith that they can
live by, one that is their own. Consequently, young adults
question the values, beliefs and traditions of their parents.
Critical during this time are mentors and “mentoring”
communities, who model the values and traditions that the young
adult is searching for and attempting to clarify. They foster
in the young adult the establishment of an “owned faith,” and
provide them with tools that will carry them
through the next stage of life.
Middle Adulthood. As people move toward middle
adulthood, they have a clearer sense of their identity, sexual
orientation, competencies, and limitations. They bring to
learning rich life experiences that serve as a resource to other
people. Their continued growth as adults is dependent upon
their drawing meaning out of their life experiences.
Middle adults often have attained independence
and self-direction and developed a value system, but they
continue to struggle with social pressures and peer approval.
Most middle adults have learned to be friends and colleagues and
may maintain long-standing, deeply shared relationships. They
know appropriate ways of relating to
other people in various settings.
Older Adulthood. As adults move through life,
especially as they enter their “senior years,” they become
increasingly concerned with the differences their lives will
make in the order of things. They want to know and feel that
their lives have been valuable. Those who have more fully matured during adulthood care especially about passing along to
the next generation those things that have most enriched their
lives, such as faith, values, truths, customs, organizations and
institutions.
Ironically, at the same time that older adults
are growing “in age, grace and wisdom,” they must face the
inevitable frustrations of the aging process. Retirement from a
lifetime career brings with it both loss and leisure. Older
adults frequently face some degree of declining health as well
as the loss through death of spouses, family members, and
beloved friends. However, their sexuality needs -- to love and
to be loved, to touch and to be touched -- remain throughout
life. Social, educational and spiritual opportunities, focused
on the special needs of older adults, are essential if we are to
foster lifelong learning.
Adults at every stage examine and make choices
about life-style patterns as single persons, married persons, or
vowed celibates. Each life-style presents the adult with its
own challenges and opportunities.
Finally, adults seek an integrated and
meaningful spirituality that helps them cope with life’s
challenges and establish a satisfying relationship with God.
Guidelines for Formation in Human
Sexuality During
the Adult Years
1.
Because the sources of sexual information and formation are
numerous, varied, conflicting and sometimes so subtle as to be
virtually unnoticed, adults need on-going education and
formation.
At this stage in an adult person’s development it is
important to:
• obtain knowledge of changing relationships in
the developmental stages
of adulthood.
• seek opportunities for developing good
communication skills, which are
essential for healthy
relationships.
• explore life-style choices (single, married,
vowed religious) in light of
fidelity to chastity,
commitment, and growth in intimacy with persons of
the
same and opposite sex.
• use one’s reasoning ability, the sources of
divine revelation, the
Church’s teaching and guidance,
the wise counsel of others, and one’s
own individual and communal experience of grace to make good moral
decisions.
• plan times for, and learn methods of
reflection, prayer and discussion as
well as opportunities to celebrate the sacraments.
• participate in Christian community-building
and worship experiences.
• seek continuing knowledge about moral issues
involved in reproduction,
such as sterilization, new developments in reproductive technology,
spacing
of children (Natural Family Planning), and contraception.
• develop an awareness of family
responsibilities, including the privilege
and duty of providing
a Christian family environment in which a positive
and moral understanding of human sexuality is modeled, taught and
encouraged.
• take advantage of educational opportunities
which enhance parenting
skills and the ability
to contribute wisely to the sexuality education of
children. (In this context, parents may very well serve as ministers to
other parents and guardians.)
• be informed about sexual dysfunction, sexual
abuse and sexually
transmitted diseases.
• take advantage of information and formational
opportunities necessary
to live faithfully and
responsibly the physical, psychological, social and
spiritual dimensions of life.
• • •
Resources
[Resources marked with a * are explicitly Catholic]
For Parents and Adults
*Because We Love Them--Fostering a Christian Sexuality in Our
Children. Sheree Whitters Havlik. Sorin
Books/Ave Maria Press.
ISBN 1893732851.
*Beyond the Birds and the Bees--A Catholic Parent’s Guide to Having
Age-Appropriate Discussions About Sex.
Gregory Popcak. Our
Sunday Visitor. ISBN 087973941X.
*Feast of Love--Pope John Paul II on Human Intimacy. Mary G. Durkin.
Loyola Press. ISBN 0829404430.
*Growing In Love/Family Resource (Grades K-8). Harcourt Religion
Publishers.
How and When to Tell Your Kids About Sex--A Lifelong Approach to
Shaping Your Child’s Sexual Character.
Stanton L. and Brenna A.
Jones. NavPress. ISBN 0891097511.
How to Talk Confidently With Your Child About Sex. Lenore Buth.
Concordia Publishing House. ISBN 0570035678.
*Human Sexuality--A Catholic Perspective for Education and Life-long
Learning. United Stated Catholic
Conference of Bishops.
ISBN 1-555864058.
*Intimate Bedfellows--Love, Sex and the Catholic Church. Thomas and
Donna Finn. Pauline Media. ISBN
0819836672.
The New Speaking of Sex--What Your Children Need to Know and
When
They Need to Know It. Meg Hickling.
Northstone Publishing.
ISBN 1896836704.
*Sex Education for Toddlers to Young Adults--A Guide for
Parents.
James Kenny. St. Anthony Messenger. ISBN
0867161108.
*Sex Is Holy. Mary Rousseau. Vega Books. ISBN 1843336642.
Sex Is More Than a Plumbing Lesson--A Parent’s Guide to Sexuality
Education for Infants Through the Teen
Years. Patty Stark. Preston
Hollow Enterprieses. ISBN
0962946303.
Sex Is Not a Four-Letter Word--Talking Sex with Children Made Easier.
Patricia Miller. The Crossroad
Publishing Co. ISBN 0824514378.
*Sex--The Catholic Experience. Andrew M. Greeley. Thomas More
Assn. ISBN 0883472856.
*Talking to Youth About Sexuality--A Parents' Guide. Mike Aquilina. Our
Sunday Visitor. ISBN 0879737166.
* Theology of the Body for Teens/Parents Guide.
Brian Butler, Jason and
Crystalina Evert. Ascension Press.
*Young People and...You Know What! William O’Malley. Resurrection
Press. ISBN 1878718134.
For
Children or Young Adults
Asking About Sex and Growing Up--A Question and Answer Book for
Boys and Girls. Joanna Cole. Beech
Tree Books. ISBN 0688069282.
*Becoming a Man--Basic Information, Guidance and Attitudes on Sex for
Boys.
William J. Bausch. Twenty-Third
Publications.
ISBN 0896223574.
*Becoming a Woman--Basic Information, Guidance and Attitudes on Sex
for Girls.
Valerie R. Dillon.
Twenty-Third Publications.
ISBN 0896224333.
*Before You Were Born. Joan Lowery Nixon et.al. Our Sunday Visitor.
ISBN 0879733438.
God’s Design for Sex Series. NavPress.
-- The Story of Me/Book 1 (Ages 4-8). Stanton
L. Jones et.al.
ISBN 0891-98437.
-- Before I Was Born/Book 2 (Ages 5-8). Carolyn Nystrom.
ISBN 0891098445.
-- What’s the Big Deal--Why God Cares About
Sex/Book 3 (Ages 8-11).
Stanton L. Jones et.al.
ISBN 0891098453.
-- Facing the Facts--The Truth About Sex and
You/Book 4 (Ages 11-14)
Stanton L. Jones. ISBN
0891098461.
*Love and Life--A Christian Sexual Morality Guide for Teens. Coleen K.
Mast. Ignatius Press. ISBN
0898701066.
The New Learning About Sex Series. Concordia Publishing House.
-- Why Boys and Girls Are Different/Book 1 (Ages
3 to 5). Carol Greene
and Michaelle Dorankamp.
ISBN 0570035627.
-- Where Do Babies Come From?/Book 2 (Ages
6-8). Ruth S.Hummel
and Janice Skivington.
ISBN 0570035635.
-- How You Are Changing/Book 3 (Ages 8-11).
Jane Graver.
ISBN 0570035643.
-- Sex and the New You/Book 4 (Ages 11-14).
Richard Bimler.
ISBN 0570035651.
-- Love, Sex and God/Book 5 (Ages 14 and older).
Bill Ameiss and Jane
Graver. ISBN
057003566X.
*Sex and the Christian Teen. Jim Auer. Liguori.ISBN 0892436328.
*Sex and the Teenager: Choices and Decisions (revised). Kieran
Sawyer. Ave Maria Press. ISBN 0877936811.
*Theology of Her Body. Jason Evert. Ascension Press.
*Theology of His Body. Jason Evert. Ascension Press.
What’s Happening to My Body?/Book for Boys--A Growing Up Guide for
Parents and Sons. Lynda Madaras
et.al. Newmarket Press.
ISBN 1557044430.
What’s Happening to My Body?/Book for Girls--A Growing Up Guide for
Parents and Daughters. Lynda Madaras
et.al. Newmarket Press.
ISBN 1557044449.
The Wonderful Way That Babies Are Made. Larry Christenson. Bethany
Backyard. 0764223410.
• • •
Continue to Parents Guide to the
Protection of Children & Adolescents
Return to Parenting
Homepage
Posted
11.15.10
•
Last Update 05.09.11
|