|
Quik-Click Guide
Current Schedule
Mission
Background
Session Topics
Typical Session
Expectations
Facilitators
Divorce and Beyond
A Self-help Process for Divorced Catholics and
Others
Sponsored by the Catholic Parishes in Waterloo
______________________________________
Current Schedule
The next local Divorce and Beyond
series will meet on Thursday evenings during the fall of 2008.
Sessions will be held at St. Edward Parish in Waterloo.
The suggested fee is $25.00.
(Scholarships available for those who cannot afford the fee)
Inquire about childcare if
that is an obstacle to your participation.
Information Meeting
Thursday, October 2, 2008
7:00pm •
St. Matthew Room •
St. Edward Parish
Sessions Begin
Thursday, October 9, 2008
7:00-9:00pm •
New Life Center •
St. Edward Parish.
For
information contact the Director of Adult Formation at
319-234-9912.
______________________________________
Mission
Divorce and Beyond is a faith-based recovery program for
separated and divorced Catholics and other people of faith. Our mission is to help
participants move through the emotions of their loss to
acceptance, healing and forgiveness. We hope divorced
Catholics and others will feel welcomed and supported by their faith
community and will remain spiritually and sacramentally active
in their Church.
About
Divorce and Beyond
The Divorce and Beyond process was created by Brother James Greteman CSC and Leon Haverkamp M.S.W. It was designed as
a peer-support, self-help program to help divorced Catholics
address the emotional and spiritual stress of divorce, adjust to
the changes imposed by the divorce, and move forward in a
positive and constructive way.
The
Divorce and Beyond process helps participants find healing by
sharing with other adults who have experienced the same loss.
Once participants are able to identify and verbalize their
feelings, they can begin to move toward understanding and then
forgiveness.
Participants receive a copy of the book Divorce and Beyond,
which is the foundation for the Divorce and Beyond process.
In addition to information from the book, there is an
opportunity for participants to share and discuss personal
concerns or issues in the safety of the Divorce and Beyond
group. The Divorce and Beyond process is faciliated by
professionally trained counselors, most of whom have experienced
divorce in their personal lives. Activities recommended in
the "During the Week" section of the book supplement what
happens in the weekly session.
Weekly Session Topics
Session 1.
The Process of Divorce. This session explores with the
emotional journey from the pain of divorce to a more hopeful
future. Participants are invited to consider their
emotional responses to the loss. Understanding the lpersonal, economic, social and family losses involved with
divorce helps participants understand the complexity and extent
of the issues.
Session 2.
Self-Image. This session deals with the damage to
one's image of self and self-esteem that divorce can cause.
Feelings of rejection and failure are common among those who are
divorced. It is important for participants to restore
their self-esteem, redefine themselves, and see the possibility
of growth in the future.
Session 3.
Stress. This session focuses on the extraordinary
stress that divorce can place on a person. Recognizing the
stress can help the participant find constructive ways to cope
with it. Without a constructive approach, stress can
become debilitating and lead to other physical, emotional,
relational, functional and spiritual problems.
Sessions 4 and
5. Anger. These two sessions address the origins
and expressions of anger. Anger is a natural part of
grieving and is not in itself unhealthy. However, what a
person does with anger can be harmful. If a person is
stuck at the anger stage, there may be little chance of healing
and hope.
Session 6.
Blame and Guilt. This session explores a divorced
person's tendency to find fault in the divorce. Whether it
is excessively blaming the other person, or accepting all of the
blame and guilt oneself, there is seldom a realistic acceptance
of mutual fault. A more balanced and realistic
understanding of "who's to blame" can help divorced persons find
a path to personal freedom and growth.
Session 7.
Loneliness. This session builds on Session 2's
discussion of self-esteem and examines the difference between,
and the positive opportunity of, being alone versus the
sense of being lonely. After a reasonable period of
grieving, divorced persons are encouraged to reach out to others
in new friendships -- less out of need and more for the joy of
being with others.
Session 8.
Pathways to Growth. This session explores the process
of moving from mourning the past to anticipating the future.
It helps participants begin to recognize the reality of a more
hopeful life ahead.
Session 9.
Forgiveness. This session deals with the truly healing
step of moving beyond the bitterness of the past. Not
every divorced person is ready to make this step, but every
divorced person should be encouraged to contemplate how
important this step might be in their own healing.
Session 10.
Happiness. This session encourages participants to
develop practical strategies which help them pursue and acquire
the habit of happiness. Session 10 also examines the
Catholic process for requesting a Decree of Invalidity (an
Annulment).
Structure of the
Weekly Meeting
The
facilitator will open the session with a short prayer. At
early sessions, the prayer will be followed by introductions.
As the group becomes more familiar and comfortable with each
other, there may be a short period of time when participants
discuss how the past week has gone.
Following the introductions or discussion, the group takes turns
reading sections from the week's lesson in Divorce and
Beyond. Following the reading, each participant works
privately on the suggested discussion questions. When
participants have had sufficient time for personal reflection,
the facilitator will guide a general discussion. The
weekly session concludes with a short prayer or meditation.
Expectations
[Copyright Protected/The Catholic
Parishes in Waterloo]
If you choose to
participate in Divorce and Beyond, you should expect:
• to grow in your understanding of,
and ability to respond constructively to, the
personal, social and spiritual effects of divorce;
• to be treated with respect and understanding at all times;
• to be encouraged and supported, not criticized, judged or
attacked;
• to trust that your opinions, insights, convictions and experiences
will always
be treated with reverence and confidentiality;
• never to be forced to say or do anything which would be
uncomfortable,
dishonest or embarrassing to yourself or another person.
If you choose to
participate in Divorce and Beyond, other participants in
the group should expect you:
• to treat them with respect and
understanding at all times;
• to encourage and support them, not criticize, judge or attack
them;
• to treat their opinions, insights, convictions and experiences
with reverence and
confidentiality;
• never to say or do anything which would intentionally make
another participant
uncomfortable or embarrassed.
Experiences, opinions
and insights shared during the group discussion should be
treated with confidentiality and should not be repeated or
alluded to, even anonymously, outside the group.
Divorce and Beyond
Facilitators
Facilitators' Role
It
is the role of the facilitators to support, encourage and guide
the group's discussion. It is also the facilitators'
responsibility, if necessary, to determine when an individual's
continued participation in the process is no longer beneficial
to the group or the individual. Facilitators must honor
the confidentiality of the group's discussion unless doing so
would place a member of the group, other participants, or other
individuals in physical or legal jeopardy.
Facilitators
Martha Caster is employed at Mid Iowa Family Therapy
Clinic, as a supervisor. She has worked in the social work
field since 1987. She is a member of Blessed Sacrament Catholic
Church. She is a certified Lay Minister, through the Arch
Diocese of Dubuque. She is divorced and has gone through the
annulment process. She is a single parent, having one daughter
age 9 that she adopted 6 years ago post divorce. She hopes to
bring professional and personal experience to the group to
assist with growth and healing through the Divorce and Beyond
group process.
Posted 09.05.01 Last Update: 09.05.08
|