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are-Givers Retreat Schedule
What Is a Care-Giver's Retreat?
Comments from Previous Participants
Whos Is a Care-Giver?
Tips for Care-Givers
Care-Giver's Prayer
Care-Giver's Self-Assessment
Local Resources for Care-Givers
Online Resources for Care-Givers
Registration
Contact
 

 Care-Givers Retreats
Saturday, October 23, 2010
April 16, 2011

9:00am–Noon  •  Chapel Wing
Covenant Medical Center, Waterloo
No Charge Open to the Public Includes Noon Meal
Pre-registration Suggested

•   •   •

Retreat Schedule

Opening Prayer
Covenant Medical Center Chapel

Spiritual Reflection on the Role of Care-Giving
Rev. Mark Pell
Director of Spiritual Care
Wheaton Franciscan Healthcare

Discussion and Sharing

Community Resources for Care-Givers
Hawkeye Valley Area Agency on Aging

Noon Meal
Courtesy of Wheaton Franciscan Health Care

If you need someone to provide care for your loved one while you attend the retreat, contact the Pastoral Associate in your parish or call 319-234-9912.

•   •   •

What Is a Care-Givers Retreat?

A Care-Givers Retreat is an opportunity for prayer, reflection and discussion for individuals who have primary or frequent responsibility for the care of sick, disabled, aging or dying family members, neighbors or friends.

We know family care-givers often feel overwhelmed, confused, and unprepared for their role as care-givers.  Many feel trapped by conflicting responsibilities, unexpected and sometimes unreasonable demands. Almost all family care-givers experience stress and many feel discouraged, guilty, angry and exhausted.

A Care-Givers Retreat helps participants examine the spiritual, emotional and personal challenges of full-time care-giving.  It helps participants appreciate the spiritual meaning of their role as care-givers and helps them find strength, encouragement and support in the assurances of their faith.

Although the purpose of a Care-Givers Retreat is always same, the content of each retreat is different from previous retreats.  We invite care-givers to attend a retreat each time one is offered.

Comments from Previous Participants

"I enjoyed the retreat very much.  I could relate to all that was discussed.  This is a good thing to provide for care-givers...."

"I enjoyed the morning and think it was helpful.  It was also informative and I hope it will be held again...."

"Mark was very insightful in his remarks.  I enjoyed the morning very much...."

"I enjoyed the sharing time and understanding better where others were coming from...."

"This was the first time I attended a retreat and I found it to be very helpful in my job in a nursing home and for the one I take care of at home...."

Who Is a Care-Giver?

Most family care-givers do not think of themselves as "care-givers;" they consider themselves family members -- a husband or wife, son or daughter, doing what family members do for one another. 

However, if you provide care or assistance on a regular basis to a family member, neighbor or friend who cannot provide this care for themselves, you are acting as a family care-giver. You are a family care-giver if you provide all or any of these services to a family member, neighbor or friend on a regular or full-time basis:
Live with an sick, aging, handicapped, incapacitated or dying person.
Visit regularly with a person who is hospitalized or living in a nursing home or
  assisted living center.
• Have primary responsibility for a person's health care, medicine, insurance or
  financial affairs.

Perform or arrange for household chores, such as cooking, cleaning, laundry,
  home maintenance and repair, outdoor and yard maintenance.
• Provide, arrange or monitor home health care or hospice services.
• Communicate regularly with health care providers and community service
   agencies on behalf of a loved one.
• Provide transportation for an elderly, sick, or handicapped person.

Whether you consider yourself a "care-giver" or not, if you provide this kind of care on a regular or full-time basis you are acting as a care-giver.  Sooner or later you may feel some of the personal, emotional and spiritual challenges which are common among family care-givers.

Tips for Caregivers

Give yourself permission to be angry or resentful about your care-giving role, suggests Roberta Cole, author of Caregiving From the Heart. “The only way you are going to work things through is to acknowledge that those are feelings you have a right to feel.  

Focus on the present. Amy Baker, author of Slow Dancing at Death's Door, stresses the need for "getting angry and getting over it." You can do this, in part, by learning how to separate the past from the present when dealing with, for example, a strained parent-child relationship.

Practice forgiveness. Treat your feelings—for yourself and the person for whom you are caring—with compassion. “As hard as it is to do, realize that most people are only doing the best they can,” says Baker. “Their meanness or lack of love for you probably wasn’t malicious. They didn’t set out to hurt you.” Letting go can be healing.

Ask for help from a third party, especially if you're feeling overwhelmed. Cole suggests seeking aid and advice from another relative, a friend, an elder care professional, or a clergyperson or spiritual counselor.

Turn it over to God's grace, suggests Baker. Sometimes the situation is too painful  you probably wasn’t malicious. They didn’t set out to hurt you.” Letting go can be transformative.

Tend to basic needs. It’s difficult to care for a person in need if you yourself are run-down. Make sure to address your immediate needs for adequate rest and sound nutrition. Schedule in a few brief but potent breaks into your day. A short walk around the block helps or a catnap can do wonders to refresh you. If you can’t physically get away, you can literally take a “breather.”

Blow off steam. Do something active each day: walking, running, biking, swimming--anything that gets you moving. Take time to get outside and out into the world--even if it's just taking a walk down the street and back–and really pay attention to your surroundings. A regular mind/body practice can help you fight stress before it starts. Yoga, Pilates, qigong, and other mindful disciplines create greater flexibility and strength, as well as a relaxed body and mind.

Again, ask for help! Being a caregiver is an extremely demanding task. Rather than becoming overwhelmed and ineffective, ask someone to share the load before it becomes unbearable. It may be as simple as having a friend pick something up for you at the grocery.

Nurture yourself. Get your nails done, meet a friend for coffee. Take time to do something for you.

-- Mary Beth Sammons online at Beliefnet.com

•   •   •

A Caregiver's Prayer

Heavenly Father, help me better understand
and believe I can do what you ask me to do.
Forgive me for the times, even now,
when I question your judgment.
As I go about the many daily tasks of
caregiving, give me energy.
As I watch my loved one oh-so-slowly walk
across the room, give me strength.
As I answer his/her repeated question
just one more time, give me patience.
As I look for solutions to whatever
is the most recent concern, give me wisdom.

As I reminisce with him/her about the
“good old days,” give me a moment of laughter.
As I get to know my loved one in a new way,
seeing both his/her strength and frailty, give me joy.
As I sit beside my loved one’s bed waiting
for his/her pain medication to take effect,
give me comfort.
Lighten my burden, answer my prayer,
and give me the strength to do what
so often seems impossible.
Give me a quiet place to rest when I need it
and a quieting of my anxieties when I’m there.
Change my attitude from a tired,
frustrated and angry caregiver
to the loving and compassionate
one I want to be.
Remain my constant companion as I face
the challenges of caregiving
and when my job is through
and it’s time for me to let go,
help me remember

he/she is leaving my loving arms
to enter your eternal embrace.
Amen.

Friends of St. John the Caregiver
http://www.youragingparent.com/a_caregiver's_prayer.htm

•   •   •

Care-Giver's Self Assessment

Caregivers are often so concerned with caring for another's needs that they lose sight of their own well-being.  Click here to assess what impact care-giving is having on your own mental and physical health:
Care-Giver's Self Assessment

•   •   •

Local Resources for Caregivers

You will find a variety of resources, advice and support services for caregivers available from these local agencies:

Hawkeye Valley Area Agency on Aging
Suite 320. 2101 Kimball Ave., Waterloo.  Phone: 319-319-272-2244.

Cedar Valley Hospice
Suite 401. 2101 Kimball Ave., Waterloo.  Phone: 319-272-2002.

Alzheimers Association
Suite 122. 2101 Kimball Ave., Waterloo.  Phone: 319-272-2300.

The Catholic Parishes in Waterloo
Blessed Sacrament Parish/Sr. Madonna Friedman OSF. 319-233-6179
Queen of Peace Parish/Bev Byford. 319-226-3655
Sacred Heart Parish/Nancy Rigel. 319-234-4996
St. Edward Parish/Karol Rae Hoth.  319-233-8060

Online Resources for Caregivers

"Caregivers Survival Tips" (Beliefnet)
Caregivers Video Meditation (Willowgreen)
Caregivers Need Care Too (St. Anthony Messenger)
"Caregivers--What's in a Name?" (Beliefnet)
"Caring for Your Parents" (PBS)
"Coping with Caregiving" (Pacific Northwest Extension)
"Depression-Busters for Caregivers" (Beliefnet)
"Prepare to Care" (AARP)
"The Reluctant Care-Giver" (Beliefnet)
"Tips for Caregivers" (Beliefnet)
Caregiver.com Website (Today's Caregiver Magazine)
"When You're the Caregiver for Someone Who Is Ill" (Willowgreen)
"Your Aging Parent" Catholic Website (Friends of St. John the Caregiver)
"Best Books for Caregivers" (Beliefnet)

•   •   •

Other Resources for Caregivers

A Good Death: Challenges, Choices & Care Options.   
  Charles Meyer. Twenty-Third Publications. 64pp. 
How to Honor Your Aging Parents--Fundamental Principles of Caregiving.
  Richard P. Johnson. Liguori Publications. 128pp. 9780764804762.
124 Prayers for Caregivers.
  Joan Guntzelman. Liguori Publications. 144pp.  9780764810176.

•   •   •

Registration

By phone: call 319-234-9912
By email: DBQ208s3@arch.pvt.k12.ia.us
Online: Click here to register online

•  •  •

For information contact:
Director of Adult Faith Formation. 320 Mulberry St., Waterloo IA 50703    Phone: 319-234-9912  •  Email: DBQ208s3@arch.pvt.k12.ia.us

Posted 10.16.09   Last Update: 08.12.10

OUR COMMITMENT TO ADULT FORMATION
The Catholic parishes in Waterloo are committed to providing life-long faith formation and spiritual growth for adults of all ages. We value individual life experience, respect the diversity of personal convictions, and welcome the wisdom of every participant. We encourage conversation and dialogue. We will never intentionally embarrass or offend participants.

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